GIANT VEGETABLES APPEARED OVERNIGHT

Giant vegetables appeared overnight, blocking all major motorways. A radish the size of five four-wheel drives stood silently at the intersection of Bell and St Georges. Workmen stared at it and frowned. They had tools to hack away at it, drag it, but everybody sensed tht somehow the vegetable would fight back. And nobody wanted to risk the wrath of this stoic turnip. One onlooker suggested if perhaps it could be pickled, the turnip would be mellowed enough to allow them to roll it over to the side of the road. They would need somehow to bring two sides of a jar together around it and drop the vinegar by air.

NE'ER-DO-WELLS SKIPPED ALONG THE COBBLESTONE STREET

Ne'er-do-wells skipped along the cobblestone street, taking slugs from their flasks and laughing heartily and doing little jigs. Tabitha watched from her window and wished she could join them. For she had always done well, and it had become tiresome. As one young lady squatted and released her liquids while teetering back and forth, Tabitha emerged from the doorway and looked at the raggamuffin with pleading eyes. "Please" they said. "Teach me this night."

BRAWNY BRONTESAURUS FLEXED

Brawny bronteaurus flexed, staring at his reflection in the lake. He looked good. He'd been eating only those superfood berry trees and and stomping ten thousand stomps a day. Every scale looked shiny. Every muscle looked sinewy. He practiced a few different faces in the lakes reflection. Scary brontesaurus. Sultry brontesaurus. Silly brontesaurus. Serious brontesaurus. So much range. It was mind boggling to think that any other dinosaur did not want to have sex with him.

SILKEN TEETH NIPPED AT MY NIPPLES

Silken teeth nipped at my nipples in a fierce caress. This silken shark, brought to life by necromancy, had the white fire of lust in it's eyes. Every now and then i'd playfully punch it in the nose, but softy enough to say "but don't stop..." My friends, if you've never been gnashed all over your naked body by six rows of silken teeth, well, it's not really the kind of experience you can engineer, you just have to hope you get lucky.

FILTHY FINGERS FINANGLE

Filthy fingers finangle with coins and finally slip them into slots. The robot arm creaks into motion and the the monster mash flows forth. The monsters mash until they are mashed. When I return to the bar they are but a green puddle on the ground. I sigh and get out the wet and dry vac.

IN BUCHAREST

In Bucharest the people are so gay that every walk is a dance, and every dance is a spasm of ecstasy. Every mouthful of food elicits fists slammed on tables and tears of joy. Each sunset brings the city into a communal hum of the purest bliss, the populace take on a purple and orange hue in their very carbon. When the sun has gone down they all look at each other with that intimate post-coital knowing shyness.

WOLVES TANGO AROUND THE CAMPFIRE

Wolves tango around the campfire. Seventeen wolves, each in perfect step, claws scraping concentric cirles in the dirt and ash, staring into each others eyes, feeling the heat and the moon and the magic inbetween, the beating of their partners heart the only rhythm they need follow. Is one wolf dancing alone, or are three dancing together?